In one of my previous posts, The Importance of Storytelling and Leadership – Why Your Narrative Matters, I reflected on the power of storytelling, and how the use of the right story can help describe the important values, beliefs and attitudes of a culture. So many wonderful stories exist from all around the world that provide compelling evidence of this truth. With reflection, most of us can remember a great story that moved us, spurred us to action, or inspired us to think differently about the world. What is perhaps more difficult and less accessible  for most of us is our own cultural story, and how to tell it.

When I think about my own challenges in this regard, I often end up getting stuck on the question: “What is my culture?” This is such a tricky question for me to answer, as some days I wonder what my culture is (American? Male? Generation X? Caucasian?), and other days I am so convinced I am different that anybody else (adopted, divorced parents, in a bi-cultural, bi-lingual marriage) that I don’t believe any one would actually be interested in hearing my personal story for fear that they couldn’t relate. 

This is the balancing act that a great story often has to incorporate – how to strike a common chord with the listener while at the same time expressing an authentic and unique account that can bring your listeners a new perspective and insight. Over the course of my career, I’ve tried to get the balance right by relying on these concepts and practices:

1. Embrace your Uniqueness – Even though not everyone may relate to every aspect of my own story, everyone can relate to their own efforts to be unique and make a difference. So, embrace this concept and make sure your audience knows that. Even if they aren’t like you or their story is different than yours, being a unique person just like you is common ground enough. I often try to do this with humor, reflecting on how funny some of the unique aspects of my own story have appeared to me (and to others) over the course of my life.  Audiences appreciate it when I don’t take myself too seriously, and it helps me to be relatable even if my story is an unfamiliar one to them.

2. Don’t be a “one-person show” – Although I’m a participant in my own story, I’m often not the primary focus of it. Often, I can relate an incident that focuses on someone else, or a specific experience I have shared with others, in such a way that I help people understand what I learned from another individual’s experience. In this way, it is still my story even when it might be featuring another!

3. Make sure your story is a story – I don’t think of my stories as presentations, lectures, or monologues – I think of them as narratives. Narratives possess elements that make them different, such as:

a. Embedding a lesson or learning

b. Creating an atmosphere and feeling

c. Illustrating a dynamic progression

d. Setting up a “call to action” or imperative for change

e. Explaining a complex topic, decision or occurrence in a simple, visceral manner

f.  Involving the audience by asking them to imagine their own narratives

One last tip – practice, practice, practice.  Ask a trusted listener to spend some time going over your story with you.  It is always useful to have someone that can react honestly to your story and help you be even more authentic and effective in your communication goals.

View our complete listing of Leadership Development and Talent Management blogs.